I live just a hop, skip, and a jump from another state. No matter which way you slice it, no matter which road you take, it isn’t far from here to there.
As I cruise there my mind is on a world apart from the world I live in. In Mundania I’m concerned with planting a flower garden – and replanting part of it after pouring ice melt water on it (don’t ask…we don’t have that watering can anymore), walking the dog, washing dishes, cooking, running errands, and more.
One night a week, for the foreseeable future, my trip of miles is a journey to another time as well – a time when I was still active clergy. This is a calling I left behind 20 years ago. I created ritual, trained seekers, and spent time in daily devotions intended to unlock both the spiritual and the creative. I ran a techno-Pagan website of 500 pages and a 400 member email list full of neo-Pagans – which I found was a great deal like herding cats. Witchvox went live about the same time our website did. Witchvox is still running. Wren and Fritz have more stamina than I do it seems.
I walked away from the site, the email list, and being clergy. There were a lot of reasons. It made sense at the time. Pouring oil on the waters. Don’t compete with a spouse you know more than – a spouse who wanted to be the most knowledgeable and in a leadership position. Now, with the spouse in the Summerlands and a pending move to Mexico, I’m faced with the fact a 3rd circle Brehon can’t start a new Grove. A new Grove needs a ritual leader.
With each mile I traverse I am further engaged in material I know at the level of a congregant rather than clergy. I must actually learn the myths, examine them for lessons – the liminal, reciprocal relationships, understanding of ancient cultural analogies, metaphors, and also parse out the intrusions of the Christian monks who complied the verses – to create meaningful commentary for the ritual. I need to work on liturgy and liturgical responses. There are chants to commit to memory rather than following the lead of others.
I moved emotionally and mentally from clergy to ecclesiastical law that I dropped my devotionals – one by one. No home altar. No daily meditations. No morning and evening devotions to put me in touch with the High Ones. It feels good to realize I’m on another journey back to where I came from. I’m finding inspiration all over again. As I cast off external signs and symbols now I gather then to me again.
My mundane world life is cramped and confined. My spiritual life is a spreading of wings – I’ll liken them to the wings of the birds of Rhiannon. I’m not sure exactly when I will be ready to fly, but soon…soon. It is amazing how I can travel so far in half an hour and then back to Mundania in a similar space of time.